The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
