My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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