the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
