I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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