I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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