She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just had sex on a roof
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
