I hate all girls vehemently.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
