I look better un-naked...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
