I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
