Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
