YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
