Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize