I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
