New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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