I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
