i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
