this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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