I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
