Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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