so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
