Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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