Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
