i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
