Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
