i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
