You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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