Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
