guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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