I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
