He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You're like the curious george of whores
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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