a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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