Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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