you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
