I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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