Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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