i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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