all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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