She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
