I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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