Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
