yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
