Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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