Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
