Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
barbara walters just said penis...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
