you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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