don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
