Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
