Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize