What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
