addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
