Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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