She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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