Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Less talking, more tequila
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize