I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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