belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
