Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The uberlube is also flammable
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize