Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
