just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
