First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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