Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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