i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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