i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
